PEARLS & AMBER

PONDERING THE MUSTACHE

Mustaches are very important to men. 

I know this because I remember my first husband's tight-lipped chagrin the day he shaved off the first one he ever tried to grow. His mother, who hung over him like a hawk, DIDN'T notice it was gone.

When my older brother shaved off his beard--it was black and very THERE--Mom didn't notice either.

Maybe women...rather, mothers, hate facial hair on their sons?

One of my sisters actually prefers her men with full facial hair--beard and mustache.  Both of her husbands have been similarly covered.

My first husband went on to grow a very respectable mustache.  But I missed being able to see his beautiful upper lip.

My second husband grew a big ole black beard one time, but he was going though a depressed phase, and when that beard came in with gray attached to it, it nearly killed him. 

Mustaches catch food in them.  A constant source of bother.  Much napkin use while eating and so on.  Much noting, or trying not to note, if there's food in his mustache...and whether or not to tell him if he's failed to wipe thoroughly...especially if he's trying to woo you.

They require constant fussing with--the little trim here, the little touch up there, the constant perusal in the mirror as to the state of the mustache.

Having a beard takes away the need for the daily shave.  That was a reason my second husband tried out the beard for awhile--

Now I hear they are once again coming into popularity...mustaches, that is.  Apparently the movie 'Milk' has spawned look-alike mustaches such as the one worn by James Franco--

Hmmm.  A cautious little pastiche, I say.

Kissing a man with hair around his lips can be an issue.  When the hairs are new they hurt to kiss.  Our delicate skin gets roughed up.  Of course this is sign that we have been the object of desire, but, even so--

Later of course the hair softens, which is a good thing.

I don't like the idea of mustaches coming back.  Maybe this fad will stick to the er...younger generation?  Which, after all, has made the bald head a fashion statement.

I love the bald head look, especially if it's accompanied by a man who is totally into his clothes.

Now this James Franco mustache--wishy-washy. 

But maybe this isn't the kind of mustache that is slowly reviving?

Surely the facial hairs of today, in this great new century, will show more verve and daring. 

If you're going to do it, well then be daring.  Do something different, creative--

Frank Zappa had the right idea.

RATTY NAILS R IN

I read it in the Sunday Style section of the New York Times, so they must know, right?

I read that mangled manicures are A OKAY out in the world of fashionable young women.  I guess even fashionable older women too, if they (we) can actually bring ourselves to exist in such a state.

What this means to the layman is one's nailpolish can begin to rip off, crack off, come unglued, look like the moths got to it, and this is the height of NOW.  This is to die for nails. 

One can even, we are assured, apply for jobs with ratty nails.  These days people doing the hiring simply understand the young women sitting before them, in earnest (I would assume) search for a job, not bothering to hide their neglected nails inside a pair of little white gloves, are in touch with the absolute latest way to wear a manicure.  Some big jewelry stores, see, have actually hired such rabid looking hands to show their jewelry--

I don't think I'd buy a fifteen thousand dollar ring from a kid whose manicure is passed it's due date.  I'd find myself sneaking a look at the state of her hair, her teeth, her...never mind.

I think it is one more way chronically dirty people, the kind who think dirt under the fingernails (and here I leave out gardeners.  Their dirty, ragged fingernails are just too sweet for words, smelling like roses and weeds and specially mixed potting soil and all) somehow shows they are but free spirits, dis-interested in the things that don't count...like perfectly manicured nails.

Why, then, did they do their nails in the first place?  That's what I want to know.  It used to be a neat trick to get oneself to stop chomping on one's nails, because we were always in search of perfect hands, which used to mean...you know, long nails coated with pink, silver, raspberry or pearl white.   

Have the manufacturers of nail polish heard about this?  Are they worried?

Hey, maybe this is a trick to bully nail salons to keep their prices down.  No longer needing to maintain the manicure means less trips to the salon--

Wait a minute...maybe I don't have to fret about this.