I used to love being invited to weddings. Here was party pageantry at its finest, and all I had to do was show up for the show. True, I was expected to bring a gift, but gift buying can be an artistic endeavor, and so simply added all the more to the pleasure.
It turns out that it is now very popular to poll ones friends online for their opinion as to how to pull off YOUR wedding. And as we all know, people today, particularly the twenty somethings, those most involved with this wedding business, with the help of Facebook et al, have one million friends a piece.
That's a lot of opinions to sift through. I see so many problems with this process. Which opinion does one pick? Do the non-chosen opinions become a direct route to alienation from all the other friends? And the influx of opinions--does one hire an accountant to keep track? What about that perfect opinion that gets there too damn late? Does one kick themselves for the way things coulda, shoulda, been?
And here I was just considering getting married. Since it would be my third, well, I feel I have a certain leeway. I feel that this could be the wedding of the century because I would and could, indeed should, break every rule known to wedding planners and mothers, and feel really good about myself in the process.
But then came this news that nowadays people actually want their friends thoughts on every detail. This suggests a certain weakness, a need to please everyone else. Which would also imply not enough personal convictions of their own. Not enough know-how to bend, break, or blow sky high, time honored tradition. No. Instead, they are setting their weddings up to be able to blame somebody else if things go wrong.
I think I better put my wedding on hold. It's spring anyway. I want a winter wedding in the Alps, although most of my friends would insist on the Himalayas. I want black tie, and naturally the women will coo with delight, while the men will look pained and grumble. I want it to be a three day celebration--
Wait. Does this party have to be a wedding?
I'm texting all my friends. They'll tell me what to do.