PEARLS & AMBER: WHY PEARLS AND AMBER?

I love to read.

I love the printed word--

I love books, magazines, comics, billboards, graffiti, cards, ticket stubs, theater programs, coloring books, street signs, instruction pamphlets, manifestos, catechisms.

I love newspapers, especially The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Laguna Beach Independent, where my bi-weekly column 'Laguna Observed' appears, and The Wall Street Journal.

I love the instructions in airplane lavatories, the 'do not feed the animal' signs in zoos, the 'please close the door behind you' signs in my home, the 'standing room only' signs, the 'bridge ends suddenly' signs, the 'you don't live here anymore' signs.

Where there's a word, a phrase, a complete paragraph, I'll read it. One time I saw words scraped into the back of a park bench. There was an arrow pointing down underneath the words. I leaned closer--

It read "Free Nature", and the arrow pointed to a large splash of white and yellow bird you-know-what.

When I read I come across tasty tidbits, snappy allegories, confused citations, illiterate science tags, convoluted descriptions of lollipops, all begging to be strung up for a good laugh.

I come across fictional characters that deserve their own roast right there. The new Thesaurus should have an encyclopedia entry dedicated to its new look. Ditto The New York Times--if it gets any smaller I might accidently throw it away with the K Mart ads. And what about those all-important directions for any appliance, toy, or cigarette lighter, now coming to you in fourteen different languages. No one but no one is left out, including my cat.

So much begs a line or eight million of their own.

Then there are stationary stores. Aren't they your favorite place to go too? Libraries. Re-decorated newspaper buildings. Office Max. Spilled ink. Rulers, t'squares, buff colored white-out, but don't get me started.

There's penmanship. I think it's still being taught. There's dotting the 'i' with a heart or skull. There is LOL, et al. There's writing slang. There are pen choices. Pencils for those of us who dare.

There's more. So much more.

So, juxtaposed against the incredible world of the Internet, this blog will be about what catches my eye while reading and writing the good old fashioned way.

And what do Pearls & Amber have to do with it all?

Nothing.