Does this look like the kind of woman who gives a rats ass about wood flooring?
Does this look like a woman who wants to see how she'd look now, if she were still forty-five, and not...gone to her reward?
Armstrong Floors seems to feel Katharine Hepburn is the perfect woman to sell their floors. Their laminate flooring, that is.
See, they have a computerized picture of a live(ish) looking Katharine Hepburn, relaxing in a chair on one of their laminated floors. It says "It only looks like the real thing."
The picture is a radiant Katharine Hepburn. She'd be damned pleased about that. No doubt about it. No matter it was done by a computer. Beauty is beauty.
She would NOT be pleased about the product she's been hauled back from the grave to hawk. Laminate flooring? Listen to that raspy sneer.
Katharine Hepburn was a true New England blue-blood. Not only would she have had REAL wooden floors in her house, the floors would be scuffed and gouged and otherwise trod irrevocably upon by the ghosts of her and her family's past.
There would be gouges so deep, one could lose a stiletto in them--
There would be crevices so high a ladder would be required to get out--
And--
They would be polished by hand, lovingly and often.
As a result, these real wood floors would be so softened by age and use, babies could sleep on them.
And their fragrance would save marriages.
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